Good-bye, Old Friend

It is a sad day.

My constant companion of the past five years has gone to sleep for the last time.  

My dear design school laptop.

We went through everything together.  My first design project.  My last design project.  Every project in-between.  Countless late and sleepless nights.  We planned parties together.  Played games together.  Planned a wedding together.  Created surprises together.  He played music and videos for me, constantly and uncomplainingly.  And in the end he was just worn out.  Three power cords and two batteries later...it was just getting to be too much for him.  I don't blame him.  He worked so hard.

One of our first projects together.  You can tell we've been there all night due to my lack of makeup and any attempt to do anything with my hair...

And junior year.  Who could forget our office project?  I guess it's a miracle he lasted this long, considering that I never spilled anything on him, even though I had drinks such as that extra-large-vanilla-latte-triple-shot-whatever next to him so very often....

It's kind of amazing, actually, all of the things that have happened during the past five years or so, that this laptop has been a part of. Things that he enabled me to do.  I am sure going to miss my design school laptop.  

But in the meantime...

  

I have a new friend to get to know.

Free Time

So far with the extra free time I have had (from not having an evening job) during the past month, I have...

• met friends for coffee
• started yoga again
• felt free to go back home for an entire week for support and love following a family tragedy
• had friends over for dinner
• finally taken advantage of Restaurant Week
• begun projects for the apartment that I have been waiting on
• spent more time reading my Bible
• had more time with the hubby
• painted my nails
• been able to cook and bake much more often

so, so far...

free time rocks.

In fact, I think free time is fantastic.  Before, when I would be doing just-because-I-like-doing-them things, (i.e. cooking, design things, catching up on my  Real Housewives, etc.), I would feel guilty.  Guilty that I really had other "more important" things that I should be doing.  Things that were related to work.  In fact, sometimes doing these things that I enjoyed doing almost felt like chores.  Self:  "If you don't bake these cookies right now you won't have any other time to do it.  You like doing this, remember?  Now bake, dammit!"  But now my free time is just that.  My free time.  (Ok, if you want to get technical, it's actually God's time, but it's kind of like He is giving it to me, so then it is sort of like my free time again, right?)

Being raised in a world and culture where everyone is all "go-go-go" and a mark of success--even badge of HONOR--seems to be having NO free time, this is nothing short of a revelation.  The culture I was raised in looked DOWN on those who had free time.  They were dismissed as slackers.  It has honestly taken me until now to not look down on people whose time is not filled up with work and activities.  

Obviously, I have never really had free time.  Not in high school, when extracurricular activities and homework took up my after-school hours, not in college, where work and design projects dominated my time, and not even post-college, when wedding planning and work literally took over my days, evenings, and weekends.

Not until now.

This is amazing.


Also amazing?  My gold-tipped nails.  Which I was able to do myself.  Because I have free time.  Win.

Nothin like puttin a little extra bling in your day.

***I think it is important to note that while I now have extra free time, it is NOT idle time.  It is time to build myself up, while pursuing activities, interests, and relationships in my life.  Yup, even while watching the Real Housewives.

Beffer

Jeffrey McBride 

"Beff"  "Bird"

July 1, 1987-January 14, 2012

I had all of these different things to write about.  The trip to Boston that Tyson and I took earlier this month.  My birthday adventure, on January 13th.  I was even going to write about a delicious "instant" chocolate cake recipe that I found.

Instead I am writing about something I never, ever anticipated.

We unexpectedly lost my cousin, Jeff, on January 14th, 2012.  

There are really no words.

Both Tyson and I still have all of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., etc.  Everyone is even relatively healthy.  This was definitely something that rocked our-and everyone's-worlds.

One of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around is that Jeff will never be 25.  You have to understand, we grew up and were only 6 months apart; we were always the same age, experiencing the same things at the same time.  And I turned 25 the day before he passed.  It is unreal to me that he will never be 25.

People talk about grief.  Well let me tell you, I have never seen grieving before last week.

People also talk about love and comfort.  I have also never seen love and comfort like I saw last week.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."

-Psalm 46:1-2

January has been a very long month.

And Jeff, I hope you have figured out what the heck ballboarding is by now.

Why "The Christmas Shoes" is the Worst Song Ever (Especially for Christmas)

There are plenty of bad Christmas songs out there.  Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy Christmas music in general.  The problem is that there are only so many Christmas songs, but there have been hundreds of popular artists within the last few decades or so, and they all tend to release Christmas albums with their own version of popular Christmas tunes.  With that many versions of each Christmas song floating around, it's hard to have more than one or two favorites of each.  But there is one song that, no matter who it is sung by, ruins Christmas.


I'm talking, of course, about "The Christmas Shoes"


I hate the song "The Christmas Shoes".  Can't stand it.  I ABHOR the song "The Christmas Shoes".  Every time it comes on the radio I have to switch to another station or turn it off.  It wrecks Christmas.


Let me walk you through (some of) the lyrics:


1)  "It was almost Christmas time..."  (Verse 1)


This is the very first line of the whole entire song.  It sounds pretty innocent.  Until later in the song, when it mentions that "it's Christmas Eve".  What?  That's not "almost" Christmas time.  That plain old IS Christmas time.  I'm sure most people would agree with me that pretty much the entire month of December is Christmas time.  Not just Christmas Day.  By the time it's Christmas Eve, you're all up in Christmas' business.  If the lyric was "It was almost Christmas Day", it would make a lot more sense.  Christmas Eve definitely IS almost Christmas Day.  But that's not what the lyric is.  I can't have much respect for a song that begins with such a factual inaccuracy.


2)  "He counted pennies for what seemed like years/Then the cashier said 'Son, there's not enough here.'" (Verse 2)


Who IS this cashier?  Are they joking?!?  This kid just said that his mom is dying, which is why he's trying to buy these shoes, and the cashier decides to tell the kid he's short the money?  What a JERK.  The kid was counting out PENNIES, for crying out loud.  I'm going to assume that the store was packed, being that it's Christmas Eve and all, and the song mentions that they were standing in a line.  Did the cashier REALLY take the time to count out every penny to see that it was not enough?  "Sorry kid, you're 97 cents short".  I get that it sets up the song so that the guy behind the kid gets to help pay for the shoes and all, so he can remember the meaning of Christmas, but.....hey.....speaking of.....


3)  "I knew that God had sent that little boy/To remind me just what Christmas is all about"  (Bridge)


No.  No He didn't.  Just what does this guy get reminded of here?  That Christmas is all about shopping?  Because that's what they are doing.  Last-minute shopping on Christmas Eve.  It's not about peace and goodwill to your fellow man.  Not about Jesus coming down to earth.  And it's definitely not about spending time with family...which just happens to include your dying mother.  It's about shopping.  Material goods will triumph over all.  Because dying or not, Mama still wants one last pair of shoes, apparently.


4)  "Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time..."  (Chorus)


Then why are you freaking SHOPPING, kid?!?  (See #3.)  Your mom is dying and you really think that she cares more about receiving some sort of gift than seeing her son during her last moments on earth?  If I was a mom, on my deathbed, and my kid ran out, saying he had to run an errand or something, and it was Christmas freaking Eve to boot, I would be pretty upset.  Shoes or not, that kid is definitely cut from my will.


5)  "He searched his pockets frantically/Then he turned and looked at me...Tell me sir what am I going to do/Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes"  (Verse 2)


Gee, kid, why don't you make it a little more obvious?  The song doesn't include that the kid went "Ahem, hint, hint" and nudged the guy a few times right after he said this.  Who wouldn't feel bad for the kid and try to help him out?  But the real question is,  how do we know that this kid isn't some sort of scammer?  Maybe he's just trying to score a few free Christmas gifts, (for a Mama that's definitely not dying), or grabbing a few things to sell on eBay for a profit.  The whole thing sounds pretty fishy to me.


6)  "Sir I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please/It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size/Can you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time/You see she's been sick for quite awhile/And I know these shoes would make her smile/And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"  (Full chorus, sung the last time by children)


In general, the chorus is kind of annoying, but worst of all is when the chorus is sung for the last time by children in the most popular version of this song (which I think is by Newsong, but I could be wrong).  It is psychotic and creepy as hell.  It's sung in a slow, monotonous way, and sends shivers (the creepy kind) down my spine.  


7)  "...I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"  (Chorus)


Yup, that's what Jesus really cares about.  Apparently you do NOT get into heaven without the appropriate footwear.  Duly noted.


Here's to a happy, joy-filled, blessed, stressless, and, most importantly, "Christmas Shoes"-free Christmas season!

NOvember

Yesterday was a very NOvember kind of day.


No, I did not just make a typo.


When I was in first grade, my teacher read us a picture book about a boy who did NOT like November, and felt that the month started with the word "no" for a reason.  The whole book was about all of the things that he couldn't do now that it was November.  November meant NO swimming, NO sunshine, NO this, NO that, etc.




I don't really remember the point of the book other than that.  I don't know if the book had a happy ending at all.  Looking back, if the whole point of the book-children's book- was that the month of November is depressing, that's.....well.....depressing.


(Just tried Googling the book.  Can't find it.  However I don't remember the exact title of the book, and definitely not the author, so I'm stuck with search phrases like "November children's picture book" and "NOvember".  ("Did you mean 'November?'")  Doesn't work.)




Anyway, in spite of how depressing the book may have been, I remember really enjoying it.  Though that may have been because after the teacher read us the book, we got to make our own pictures of what NOvember meant to us.  Mostly pictures of NO playing outside...you get the idea.  Anyway, whether because of the book itself, or the picture-drawing, I still think about that book every single year in November.




And yesterday was the ultimate NOvember day.

• NO sunshine.  For at least the 3rd day in a row, no less.  It looked like it was 8:00 at night at around 2:00 in the afternoon.
• NO leaves.  I miss all of the colors.
• NO time.  Worked all day.  Taught dance til 9:15.  That's a long day.
• NO phones.  Our phone system was down at work.  No phone calls, no messages...actually...the quiet was kind of nice...
• NO food.  Ok, I ate.  But I had leftover pizza for both lunch and dinner.  Yippee.
• NO warmth.  And rain to boot.  Boo.
• NO hubby.  Gone on a conference through Saturday.  Which also meant...
• NO snuggles.  Honestly, how's a girl to keep warm?
• It's worth noting that, like my 1st-grade self, I also did NO swimming and did NO playing outside.

And, like the November book we read, this post really has no happy ending.  Maybe that it's only 2 days and 6 hours until my hubby gets back?

Maybe not.

The end.