Beffer

Jeffrey McBride 

"Beff"  "Bird"

July 1, 1987-January 14, 2012

I had all of these different things to write about.  The trip to Boston that Tyson and I took earlier this month.  My birthday adventure, on January 13th.  I was even going to write about a delicious "instant" chocolate cake recipe that I found.

Instead I am writing about something I never, ever anticipated.

We unexpectedly lost my cousin, Jeff, on January 14th, 2012.  

There are really no words.

Both Tyson and I still have all of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., etc.  Everyone is even relatively healthy.  This was definitely something that rocked our-and everyone's-worlds.

One of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around is that Jeff will never be 25.  You have to understand, we grew up and were only 6 months apart; we were always the same age, experiencing the same things at the same time.  And I turned 25 the day before he passed.  It is unreal to me that he will never be 25.

People talk about grief.  Well let me tell you, I have never seen grieving before last week.

People also talk about love and comfort.  I have also never seen love and comfort like I saw last week.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."

-Psalm 46:1-2

January has been a very long month.

And Jeff, I hope you have figured out what the heck ballboarding is by now.