Going to the Store (One Baby vs. Two)

I went to the store with one baby on Thursday.

It was amazing.  I was so free.  You can carry one baby to and from the car with ease!  She fits in a normal cart!  This diaper bag is so light!  It reminded me of the first time I went out with only one baby.  I think they were about six months old when I took Caden, and only Caden, for a doctors appointment.  Then (get ready, here's the climax): we went two whole other places afterwards.  That's a total of three errands!  Which at the time, seemed like nothing short of a Christmas miracle.  At that time, it was a huge achievement to take these guys ONE place together.  These experiences, among others, have left me with some observations on what takes place when going out with one baby, vs. two...

WITH ONE BABY

Before Leaving the House:

• Pack diaper bag with a few diapers, one cup of snacks, one set of clothes, one blanket, one hat, one pacifier, and a couple of toys.
• Locate baby.  Change their diaper.
• Pick baby up.

Leaving the House:

• Baby still in hand, grab diaper bag, slip on shoes, walk out door.
• Strap baby in carseat, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Get self in car.  Leave.

Arriving at Store:

• Get self out of car.  Grab diaper bag.
• If cold, put hat on baby.  Unstrap baby from carseat.
• Carry baby into store.

At the Store:

• Strap baby into shopping cart.
• Shop.
• Give baby distractions as needed-toys or a cracker-though usually walking around the store and seeing all of the people and items is exciting enough.
• Check out.

Leaving the Store:

• Put bags in car.  Take baby out and return cart.
• Strap baby in carseat, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Get self in car.  Leave.

WITH TWO BABIES

Before Leaving the House:

• Pack diaper bag with a lot of diapers, two cups of snacks, two sets of clothes (which coordinate, of course), two blankets, two hats, two pacifiers, and a whole crapton of toys.
• Locate baby one.  Change baby one's  diaper.  Put baby one down, probably in crib.  They will probably dislike this.
• Locate baby two.  Change baby two's diaper.
• Pick baby two up.  Pick baby one up with other arm.

Leaving the House:

• Put both babies down so you can put on your own shoes. Grab diaper bag.  Call for husband's help to carry a baby down the stairs to the car because you live on the second floor of an apartment with no elevator, idiot.
• Strap baby one in carseat, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Strap baby two in carseat, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Swap toys, because they each want what the other one is playing with, even though they are probably identical toys.
• Get self in car.  Leave.

Arriving at Store:

• Get self out of car.  Grab diaper bag.
• Go to back of car and wrestle with double stroller.  Put diaper bag in stroller and hope nobody walks by and steals it while you are unloading babies, since your wallet and, more importantly, baby distraction items are inside.  
• If cold, put hat on baby one.  Release carseat from carseat base and secure to stroller.
• Walk to the other side of the car.
• If cold, put hat on baby two.  Release carseat from carseat base and secure to stroller.
• Try to push the stroller before remembering that you need to release the wheel lock.  Release the wheel lock.  Roll into store.

At the Store:

• Pull off to the side once you enter.  Give each baby a distraction object and/or snack.
• Shop.
• Get interrupted from shopping by having to retrieve various distraction objects that your babies (or ahem, baby, *cough, Caden, cough* throw off the edge of the stroller.
• Also get interrupted from shopping by having people ask, "Are they twins?" and other deep philosophical questions, such as, "But why does she have more hair?" and "Can they read each other's minds?".
• Don't get as much shopping done as you would like, since the fabric bottom of the stroller basket is already sagging and almost touching the ground.
• Check out.
• Get engaged in a conversation with your cashier, as well as other store cashiers and patrons in the vicinity, over the fact that yes, they are twins.
• Answer various questions about twins.
• Politely extricate yourself from the conversation so you can leave (unless the cashier is so engrossed by the fact that, yes, they are twins, that she literally blocks your exit from the checkout lane, which yes this has actually happened to me before).

Leaving the Store:

• Put bags in car.  
• Remove baby one from stroller, put in car, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Remove baby two from stroller, put in car, give toy to baby so they are entertained.
• Yes, they probably want the toy the other baby has.  Deal with situation.
• Wrestle stroller back into car.
• Get self in car.  Leave.

El fin.