Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Solo Parenting: Two Months In

As of the last time I checked in on how parenting solo was going (a mere one week in), things were going pretty great, really.

Then we moved.


(Welcome to our home!)

I knew that I was going to miss Madison, but I truly did not realize what a support structure we had built up there.  I usually met up with friends and their kids a few times a week, with several mom friends that I could text the morning of to make plans.  My church had a mom's group.  Heck, the kids even went to "school" for five hours spread over two days a week--five hours that were guaranteed to be mine to do whatever I needed or wanted. (Pack.  The answer is that I always needed to pack.)  I don't have that built up here yet.  And while I thought it was hard to fill our hours when we were in Madison, that was nothing compared to what it is now, when the only people I really know here related to me.  (Don't get me wrong-my parents have been incredibly helpful-but it's not the same as being able to spontaneously meet up with other mom friends during the day or connect at mom's group...with childcare included!)  There is no "school" nearby for them, at their age.  The libraries here even require registration for their storytimes, which are completely closed as I'm sure they were filled up weeks ago.  I'm trying very hard not to compare our lives "here" to our lives "there", but it's even harder not to.

I'm working on it.  A week and a few days into our move here, and I'm working on joining a couple of local moms groups (though unfortunately they don't meet or we aren't able to attend their gatherings for at least another couple of weeks).  Obviously, it will take time. We built up our relationships and connections in Madison over five years for crying out loud.  

This past weekend was also the first weekend that Tyson did not come home.  He will be home for four days this weekend, a week at Thanksgiving, and then permanently just before Christmas (woot woot!), but he can't really do more than that since we are twice as far away now.  The weekends with him home are so valuable to me to be able to get a break and get things done.  I cannot wait until this weekend-especially since Caden has kept me up for 2-3 hours the several nights recently (teething...I think?).  Not to mention that I miss having Tyson around, and want to be able to enjoy our new house together.  And the routine is still just plain different with Tyson gone.  I've been showering every other evening, (so my morning routine gets cut to only about 15-20 minutes, instead of an hour of having to shower/dry hair) (dry shampoo FTW!), Daniel Tiger and Baby Einstein help us through cleaning up breakfast, making dinner, and cleaning up dinner, and I think the kids might be getting as sick of me as I am getting of them.  Caden has been particularly challenging lately with throwing food and toys and just plain old not listening to me, and I think it is due at least in part to Tyson being gone (though now that I think he is teething, that may have something to do with it).


(Watching videos from the comfort of mommy's bed while she gets ready in the morning. They clearly get the better end of the deal, since I usually always wish I was still snuggled there myself.)

We'll get there.  The days are just particularly long right now.  That much more so without our friends and the routines we were so used to.

And only two more days til the weekend.


2 comments:

  1. Oh, Shannon, I am so sorry things are hard right now. I know I throw myself a pity-party if I even have one (long) day with no plans or only a night or two of solo parenting. I can't imagine what it would be like to do it day after day, week after week, with TWO toddlers instead of just one. I'll be praying for you, friend. We sure miss you!

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    1. Thanks Laura! I so miss everyone in Madison! Luckily my mom is with the kids right now while I am at a coffee shop (which is how I can snag time to write!) so it's not ALL quite so woe-is-me. Here's hoping I can meet some other mommies soon!

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