At Least You Stand a Remote Chance of Reasoning With a Two-Year Old

1-year old: cries because they drank all their milk and their cup is empty
Me: take cup, telling them I will get more milk
1-year old: sobs hysterically because I took their cup away
Me: fill cup with milk, showing them the whole time that I am fixing their original problem.  Give cup back.
1-year old: throws cup on floor

Probably eating something off the ground that I repeatedly told him not to.

1-year old: points to container of food
Me: give them some of desired food
1-year old: stares at food now in front of them.  Points at container again.
Me: show them the container and the food on the tray.  Try to explain and convey that they are the same thing.
1-year old: Points at container.
Me: sigh and try to give them a piece of the food.
1-year old: spits out food.  Looks around.  Points at container of food.
Me: show them food and explain that it's the same food they just spit out and they don't like it anyway.  Put container away.
1-year old: cries, because they can't look at the food they don't like in the container anymore.

Me: holding 1-year old
1-year old: whines and makes all the signs that they want to be set down on the ground
Me: set 1-year old down
1-year old: cries and reaches to be picked back up
Me: picks up 1-year old
1-year old: cries and makes all the signs that they want to be set down on the ground
Me: head explodes

1-year old: tries to push a toy through an opening smaller than the toy; cries
Me: attempt to have them to push the toy elsewhere
1-year old: still tries to push a toy through an opening smaller than the toy; cries
Me: try to explain that they are defying the laws of physics
1-year old: cries

Me: open door to go outside.
1-year old: grins.  Walks outside.
Me: close door.  Sit down.
1-year old: points at door to go inside.
Me: open door.
1-year old: grins.  Walks inside.
Me: close door.  Sit down.
1-year old: points at door to go back outside.
Me: open door.
1-year old: grins.  Walks outside.
Me: close door.  Sit down.
1-year old: points at door to go inside.
*cycle repeats in an infinite loop to prevent me from ever enjoying sitting down*

1-year old: randomly falls down.  Cries
Me: Help them back up.
1-year old: cries because they are now standing.  Sits down to cry some more.

1-year old: points at something they can't have (i.e. a kitchen knife, choking-hazard level food, or alcoholic beverage).
Me: explain they can't have that object because it is dangerous and not for them.  Try to interest them with a kid-friendly item.
1-year old: continue to point repeatedly at original object.
Me: explain again that it is not for them to have.  Try again with another item.
1-year old: repeated pointing at dangerous object.
Me: give up and walk them away.
1-year old: sobs and desperately reaches towards what has become their Holy Grail.

Me: put toy away.
1-year old: decide that is the exact toy they want to play with right now.  Take toy back out.
Me: put another toy away.
1-year old: abandon toy they were contentedly playing with.  Decide what I just put away is the exact toy they want to play with right now.  Take toy back out.
Me: put another toy away.
1-year old: abandon toy they were contentedly playing with.  Decide what I just put away is the exact toy they want to play with right now.  Take toy back out.
Me: put away the first toy I tried to put away.  Again.
1-year old: abandon toy they were contentedly playing with.  Decide what I just put away is the exact toy they want to play with right now.  Take toy back out.
Me: gives up.
*repeat all day long*