An Ode to Mom Friends

It seems like I've heard it a million times now: motherhood is lonely.

It's true.  And I'm sure it's something that every mom - especially those of the stay-at-home variety - experience and think about at some point (or several).

It occurred to me the other day that this is the first time in our lives when we are constantly surrounded by people who aren't like us.  Before now, our lives have been filled with people who have been more or less the same age, intelligence, and even size as us.

Elementary, middle, high school...we were surrounded by other kids in the same grade, and if we didn't have friends in class, we quickly made them  Then came college...we moved away from home and were again surrounded by people of a similar age and life stage.  More importantly, we were ALL seeking friends.  After that we entered the work force, into a workplace with other people in a similar field, working toward similar goals, and able to socialize and connect with our co-workers on a daily basis.

Then many of us became moms.  Some of us became stay-at-home moms.  And suddenly our days are filled by a person (or two or three...) who is much smaller than we are.  And a LOT more needy and demanding.  And they certainly aren't the most stimulating or intellectual of companions, either.  (Though the amount of times they can repeat a single word, like "mommy",  or "snack", for example, is certainly impressive.)

Enter: mom friends.

We meet in playgroups, story times, coffee shops, and playgrounds.  We have at least one thing in common: these little shadows that follow us around and demand to be taken care of.  We might not meet every day, or even every week, but those playdates are ALWAYS a bright spot on our calendars.  Even if we often spend more time chasing after own our kids than finishing our conversations with each other.  It's still more adult conversation than we would ever get in otherwise.

So, here's to you, mom friends.

Thank you for showing me how to love my own kids better.  Your patience and delight in your children makes me fall more in love with mine.  You remind me how to be calm and loving, and to take breaks to watch these little minds and bodies in action.  A couple of weeks ago I met some moms for coffee (sans kids, so, y'know, PAR-TAY) and one mom of three, with another on the way, absolutely RADIATED when she talked about her children. Even while admitting that, yeah, they could be jerks sometimes.  And even though things were often hard.  But you could tell just how much she loved those little monsters, and THRIVED in the chaos.  Thank you, for reminding me to take joy in my own chaos.  (And, believe me, it is PLENTIFUL.)  And thank you for showing up for coffee.  Sometimes all we need is an hour or two to chat and bitch about our own kids before going back to the grind, a few friends and some caffeine readying us to love them fiercer, and better.  

Not that you're always perfect, mom friends.  THANK YOU FOR THAT.  If you were, it would put my own failures as a mom to even greater shame.  I see you lose your patience, when the two-year old asks for something for the 97th time, and I think OH THANK GOD IT'S NOT JUST ME.  I see you in the store, with the crying infant or tantruming toddler (or worse: both), just trying to get to the check-out lane, and want to catch your eye all, solidarity, mama, but usually don't.  Because, y'know, I have THREE KIDS WITH ME, LET'S MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!  But believe me, the intention is there.  I may also be busy sending a silent prayer up to heaven, thankful that, right now, it's not me.

I live near some of you, and far from others, but know that I love watching the photos all of you share.  I realize that life isn't always like that perfect little moment you just captured with your daughter in the sunshine, or your son all snuggled up with his lovies, but I appreciate that you took the time for a photo and a quick share.  Because that moment?  It WAS perfect, and it mattered.  I love watching your children play and discover and grow almost as much as I enjoy watching my own.  And thank you for not always editing out the laundry in the background, the toys strewn across the floor, the remnants of breakfast still on their cheeks.  A good photo crop can cover a multitude of kid crap (#beentheredonethat), but I appreciate knowing that your house looks just like mine right now.

Which would be like this...

Most of all, mom friends, thank you for making things a little less lonely.  Hope those little monsters give you the Mother's Day you deserve.

(i.e. a full night of sleep, strong coffee, a mani/pedi/massage, at least five minutes where no one says "mommy, mommy, MOMMY!", lunch drinks out with your friends, and, most importantly, a perfect and seamless bedtime routine.  Hey, a mama can dream.)

Post Weekend

It's been approximately forever since I've taken enough (or any) photos over a weekend that was somewhat worthwhile to write about.

Since about the time I started feeling all bleh from being pregnant in fact.  Like that's a coincidence.

So.  Last weekend before daddy leaves to work out-of-town be like:

Hanging with friends (both big and small), who just so happen to have an awesome piano. I'll leave to your imagination the sound that filled the house with these three virtuosos at the keys.  (I think "cacophony" would be a polite word for it.)

Also, you can tell that the wonderful friends whose house we took over don't have kids yet, because they had time to make adorable snacks like this:

(Fan of the grapes.)

(Fan of using her finger to lick up the peanut butter from the graham cracker.)

We also be like:

Last chance to use daddy as a trampoline.  At least until next weekend.

And, most importantly:

 

Family run (in jammies...at least the little ones) for ice cream.

(If you're local, this is our favorite ice cream in town.  Super creamy, the Sequoya location has kid-friendly tables and a play area, and the S'mores flavor is on point, yo.)

The next day we had to say the first of many weekly good-byes to come.

Of course, the best picture I could get of this be like:

I missed a golden photo opportunity (all three looking, smiling, everyone's head in view) by about .578 seconds.  As usual.

We calmed ourselves with a walk after waving a tearful bye-bye as daddy pulled away.

Don't sit too close to each other, guys.  You might confuse someone into thinking that you like each other.

(Got any black speckled rocks?  Go fish.)

One day down, four to go.

Can't wait until next weekend, daddy!

Christmas (Continued), New Years, and Onward!

When we last left our intrepid explorers, they were wreaking havoc on Christmas presents far and wide...

Then...

Grandma and Grandpa (No. 2) arrived!  Which also meant more presents.

Mommy and Daddy got the present of going to a hockey game.  

It was an amazing game, right up until the end.  Which is when we lost.  In overtime.  Boo.  It was also Grandpa's first official NHL hockey game, and it was so exciting I think we just might have converted him to be a hockey fan...

The adventures continued the next day as Grandpa did a small bit of electrical work for Papa and Nana.

Caden helped.

ZOMG!  They don't usually let me touch these things!

Wut?

Ok, so he's a pretty cute little electrician.  (Also: three generations holding onto the same electrical cord.  There's some sort of symbolism somewhere in here, I'm just not sure what it is...)

Brooklyn of course inspected everything to make sure it was up to her standards.

She also snuggled with her twin baby dolls (thanks, Santa!), which = adorable.

Then there was the time that she took an ornament off the tree...

...and kept trying to figure out how to get it back on.

Also adorable.

And then, on New Years Day, it was back to Madison.

As you can see, it was a super comfortable ride for all involved.  Go go gadget Prius!

Caden celebrated the new year by getting his first ear infection (antibiotics and Tylenol FTW!).

They both celebrated the new year by teething (yay more Tylenol and these teething tablets!).

Mommy and daddy celebrated the new year by wishing for some sleep.  Though we did happen to be asleep at midnight on New Year's Eve.  Until the neighbor's set off some fireworks.

The end.

Caden and Brooklyn's Blessing (aka Post (Baby Dedication) Weekend)

We dedicated Caden and Brooklyn at our church over the weekend. 

This is the blessing that we wrote for them, and read during the service:

­­Caden and Brooklyn,

Today we celebrate the opportunity to dedicate each of you to God.  We are making a promise, both to you and to God, to raise you in a Christ-centered home.  We are so thankful to have you as a part of our family---our very own “double blessing”.  You are each such beautiful gifts.  We are blessed that you have been created to be such happy, healthy, and energetic babies.  You are each so playful and already have fun playing and being together (well…most of the time).  We are excited to watch your relationship and friendship with each other grow.  While we don’t expect you to get along all of the time, we hope that you are able to be more than just siblings, but to also be, quite literally, life-long friends.

Caden David.  Your names together mean “beloved warrior”.  You are beloved to us and to God.  We pray that you grow to be strong and wise; someone who is filled with integrity and compassion.  Joshua 1:9 says to “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  This is what we ask for you.  Not only that you continue to grow in strength and courage, but that you are able to do so because you lean on the Lord.  We know that he has a plan for your life, and pray that you are able to trust him completely and without fear.  The strength we wish for you is not only physical; we pray for you to also develop a strong character.  We hope that you are able to defend those who are weaker or wronged in life, and that you are able to do so with tenderness and compassion.

Brooklyn Marie.  You are our happy, bubbly, feisty, baby girl!  You already bring so much joy to us and those around you.  Our deepest wish for you is that you retain that joy throughout your life.  You have such a bright spirit, and we pray that you share your light with others.  We wish for you to develop deep and wonderful friendships throughout your life, and know that others will be attracted to you through your joy and laughter.  We want you to grow in knowledge, both of the head and the heart.  We also ask that as you continue to grow, you are able to find your joy and hope in the Lord.   Romans 15:13 reflects your character and our prayer for you: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

As your parents, we promise to always have your best interests at heart.  We are committed to giving you an example of both a Christ-centered home and marriage.  We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know one thing: we will make mistakes.  Yet, just as you continue to grow and learn about the world around you, we will continue to grow and learn about how to be your parents.  For ourselves, we ask for the wisdom and guidance that we need to be the best parents to each of you.  Seven and a half months ago, it became the four of us, all in this together.  We are so excited to watch you grow, learn, and develop more and more into the people God has created you to be.

(Brooklyn really wanted to help Tyson out with his reading of the blessing...)

We also had lots of family and friends in town to help celebrate...

Not pictured: lots (and LOTS!) more family and friends!

It was a busy, event-filled weekend.  The twins did awesome with all of the attention and were (mostly) their usual happy selves.  Of course, they had no idea that the big party at the end was for them, all they knew was that there were a lot of people around to bug/hold/cuddle/talk/play with them all weekend.

Also: parties are exhausting, even with a LOT of help.  I have thereby resolved to do nothing for the rest of the week.  (So far that "nothing" has looked like doing five loads of laundry, baking/pureeing sweet potatoes and carrots for the week, making a quick Target run, and washing/putting away various things from the weekend.  Here's to actually doing a lot of nothing for the rest of the week...)